A friend once cried desperately in my arms after a recent break up. During a brief reprieve in her crying, she told me, “I hope you never experience heartbreak, Becca.” It wasn’t something I completely understood at the time; how much pain warranted a person to say that to their friend? How could she think of me when she was in so much pain?
I understand it now.
She loved me very much.
“I hope you never experience heartbreak.”
Yes, I understand her sentiment now.
The Lord is close to the broken-hearted. Psalm 34:18
The Lord has drawn close to me indeed. I praise Him for His faithfulness. For His patient promise to love me and care for me, even when I am not willing to receive His love. I wonder how many times I have broken His heart; I don’t want to think about it. Still, He comes after me. Still, He does not leave me.
I am very undeserving yet He says, “You are worth it.”
I am practicing piano when I feel it. I feel like a child, a young girl, fingers fumbling on the keys as I try to learn the piece. My Father listens patiently. He gazes at me lovingly and smiles. It is very bright; there is a lot of white. I see the pages of the book in front of me, the notes, but I see Him as well and I watch Him watching me.
“I am so pleased with you.”
I don’t hear it. I feel it.
His pleasure washing over me; I feel so little. I feel so loved.
Slowly but surely, I am healing.