The days move slowly here. I feel like a lizard, lounging under the desert sun. I don’t worry about anything, I just sit around all day and fiddle around on my laptop. I’ve been watching The Mentalist; anything that stars a good lookin’ Australian actor, I’m into. I take walks around the neighborhood. California is just so beautiful and so different from the places that I’ve lived on the east coast. Their buildings are more rounded while east coast buildings are more straight and rigid. The neighborhood here looks like a vacation spot. There’s gazebos and ancient rome like structures littered around the place and we’re just in front of the mountains so there’s a great view if you happen to have to go to a building on top of the mountain. Then you can see the whole city and it’s a beautiful sight.
My Auntie invited me to come to church with her yesterday but I declined. Immediately after, I had a “what the heck were you thinking” moment because it occurred to me that I had wanted to try to go to church for a while now. Of course, I had already promised my grandma that I’d walk with her to buy groceries so it’s not like I could have accepted anyway, but it still irks me that I didn’t jump at the chance.
I was thinking about why I’m here and I came up with a few possibilities.
1. To get to know my cousins. I’ve met the older one before this trip but we didn’t get along too well. Perhaps I’m supposed to see that he’s a much nicer person than I made him out to be.
2. To be surrounded by a Christian parent figure. My Auntie is much more religious than my dad ever was. My mother doesn’t do anything for her faith so maybe being around my Auntie will help me reaffirm my own faith. I’m pretty sure her offer to take me to church was a pretty big clue.
3. To attempt to convert my grandma but I’m pretty sure that’s not possible because Auntie has tried unsuccessfully several times. Perhaps it is better to leave my grandma alone and just be around for her. To be a companion.
4. To do absolutely nothing and relax.
5. To bump into my future husband. (Wishful thinking and totally groundless.)
It’s 91 degrees outside and I’m starting to feel it.
One more thing to note: my cousin is fond of me but he’s apparently too shy to talk unless I initiate. Even when I initiate, sometimes he just stares at me and doesn’t answer. But I know he’s fond of me because he talks about me to other people. Today, I picked him up from his teacher’s house and his teacher told me that he had talked a lot about his “jie jie”. It made me smile. I drew a sketch of him today and showed it to him. He was very eager to see it and when he did, he had the most pleased expression when I asked him if he liked it:
“It looks like me. It’s a little, it’s a little bit cute, too.”
I couldn’t help telling him that he was cute.